What I want to be and who I am
so who am i? I am a creative average as fuck human. I try really hard to be above average in maths, science or English but i am always average. The only time i am above average is when i am doing Drama or ART or Music or Humanities (sometimes). I am just bang on creative and i can't study maths. It's not like it's hard for me and it mentally hurts me. It's just that no matter how hard i work no matter how hard i try i can never get above average and it kills me.
I know, i have always know i wanted to be an actress always. I just always thought it was impossible so i picked the more possible thing. Writing. There is this thing with me that i can't control is that once i find out how impossible something is i pick something that has a connection to it and is easier to become. It's basically when people say they do dancing because it's the closest thing to flying. It's dumb because you always say that it's a billion in one chance of being an actress but why can't i be that one?Am i just not good enough? Or am i holding myself back because i know how hard it's going to be.
Anyways the only thing is i'm pulling all the negativity behind and 2014 has been a fresh start. I'll always be glad for 2013 but i have grown in strength and body and mind. This year i have made goals, that by the end of 2015 i would have achieved. No more being afraid, no more wondering what people would think about me. NO MORE LISTENING!
