I am scared,
I really am! Everything in my life is not the best right now and i honestly know i'm scared. I wish i could open up on this post and say my entire life story but not know. I haven't accomplished anything!! I feel like im never gonna accomplish anything and what scares me more is not even being able to try.
I feel cold, I feel like i could break at any point of time. Sometimes i am in a lesson and i'm thinking about screaming like what if i just screamed right now and cried so hard. Would anyone hold me? Would anyone make me feel better? Or would they laugh and laugh as i cry harder and harder. There's moments where i have nearly screamed and all i could here was a tiny yelp.
It's like there's something inside me that's stopping me.
Friday 16 January 2015
Thursday 1 January 2015
Princess Boy
This is the story of one beautiful girl. A girl you wouldn't expect to see. A different kind of girl. This girl was special she stood out more. She was beautiful. She looked like this picture.
As you can see she's not you average princess. She's not even a she, that's why it's so precious. This is a boy called Joshua Ryan Alcorn. He is a normal boy from a normal town but he's just that extra bit extraordinary he's transgender ed. I guess this is the saddest story you can ever hear. A beautiful boy who just had one dream to be a girl was bullied, traumatised and victimised by her own parents because he had this one dream because she didn't fit in his own skin, because "there was no way out."
He was very unhappy as you can see and so one day he wrote the end of his story he finished a book which wasn't meant to be him to write. He wrote his suicide letter. This is what it said.....
If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.Please don't be sad, it's for the better. The life I would've lived isn't worth living in… because I'm transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy's body, and I've felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally "boyish" things to try to fit in.When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn't make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don't tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don't ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won't do anything but make them hate them self. That's exactly what it did to me.My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn't receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.
Alcorn apparently believed she'd never be able to transition successfully. She concludes:
it pains me to read this, it pains me that he walked in front of a truck and killed himself. I pains me that this beautiful story has a disgusting and painful ending. It makes me feel sick that this was the end of him that his story, the story of the princess boy has ended in tears and heartbreak.After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like shit because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I've had enough. I'm never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I'm never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I'm never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I'm never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I'm never going to find a man who loves me. I'm never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There's no winning. There's no way out. I'm sad enough already, I don't need my life to get any worse. People say "it gets better" but that isn't true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.That's the gist of it, that's why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that's not a good enough reason for you, it's good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don't give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren't treated the way I was, they're treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say "that's fucked up" and fix it. Fix society. Please.
Change society as he said.
Some people posted these tweets saying
ⓙⓤⓛⓘⓐ will remember @Unit0053
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